As I think back to our wedding day, I remember it as a spiritually blissful time. I am my Beloved and my beloved is mine was the theme that played over and over in our minds. This romance was straight out of the Bible. I was glowing knowing we would be there to hold and support one another's dreams.

Then BAM, we had to live together, budget together, combine two households, adjust to each other's lifestyle, and share everything. Share everything? This transition wasn't as heavenly.

At times, I thought to myself is this the same man God called prophet, intercessor, priest, etc..? Likewise, Stanley's thoughts weren't too different. They were I didn't know you don't walk in the Spirit 24/7 yet!

We didn't know we were going to be tested in keeping our vows so early on in our marriage. It was like a race car being shifted into turbo boost. In four short years, we were tested in riches, poverty, sickness, health, and having and holding fast to one another. Screech...no death till we part yet! Thank God the brakes were applied.

If you haven't yet, you will tested based on the vows you made also. Will you still say I do? How about with no money...even worse, no job?

Here are eight Pina Principles for a winning relationship:

1 - Unwind & Refresh
Some ways Stanley and I unwind and refresh are to go for a cup of coffee, a brisk stroll, and of course praying together. We encourage you to discover what works for you. It could be having a heart-to-heart over a meal or staying up late watching a movie. It really doesn't matter what it is as long as it done together on a consistent and regular basis.

2 - Resist the Temptation
Don't unleash any negative comments about your spouse to them or anyone. Be sure what you say is always kind, just, and of a good report.

3 - Seek Not Your Own
Get into the practice of placing what your mate needs/wants as the top priority. If they want/need to spend the evening at a sporting event or the mall, don't kick against the pricks. Say to yourself and your mate, sounds like a good idea and then support them by going with them.

4 - Focus on the Positive
We all have weaknesses and idiosyncrasies. Talk to God about your mate's positives. You will find yourself thinking less about their weaknesses and mediating on Who and what drew you to your partner.

5 - Defuse the Anger
When angry, walk it off and go talk to God about whatever it is. This will avoid arguments and capture the proper perspective coupled with the right words/actions to take, if any.

6 - Connect & Inspire
At least once a day, edify, encourage, touch/hug and tell your partner I love you. When Stanley's traveling on the road, I call and leave a message to connect with him, remind him of our future life together, and let him hear my lovely voice while we are apart. This small thing fires him up. Your mate needs motivation, deep connection, and inspiration from you.

7 - Three's a Charm
There are three prime opportunities to be affectionate. First thing in the morning, when saying good bye and good night. Stanley is phenomenal at this. His mindset is what if the end of the world takes place while we sleep or before we return into one another's presence. He makes sure we kiss good night, good morning, and good bye.

8 - Keep the Peace
If you allow all of your mate's pet peeves or words to rock your world, you will constantly have something to fight about. Learn to rest in the peace Jesus gave us and don't let every minor thing become a major subject of discontentment for you.

I pray these principles bring value and shed light upon your marriage.

Closing Words

A loving relationship is likened to a pearl of great price. Be sure to protect and care for your most prized possession (second only to the Lord). The more you allow your spouse to shine, the more you succeed. Find out your mate's love needs and meet those needs. It is a part of keeping your vows. No room for excuses here. Set your mind right now. Simply tell yourself, I/we are keeping our vows to the Lord. We are gonna stay and work out whatever. This is especially crucial for us with God-chosen, handpicked mates. Others may not often recognize, respect, or support the importance of vows, but God does.

©Karen M. Pina